--> I m p r i n t .

Everyone you meet, every person you exchange glances with, every being leaves an imprint. They press on your polished heart in some way. They could strengthen it, stimulate it, sadden it, or soothe it. Since every human has a heart, be it broken or thriving, they all have the capability of impacting someone else's, whether they realize it or not. Even a numb heart can be held and turned in the right hands, revealing the other polished side. I like the idea of imprinting another heart, although the process can vary from staying up until four in the morning to saying a simple "I love you." Tears can deeply cleanse and harshly sting a heart. It's good to experience both of these, though, because what's the good in healing something that hasn't been hurt? I suggest that next time you feel your heart being imprinted, to completely let it go and watch what happens. If it limps back, soaked in remnants of a broken spirit, hold it, love it, and caress its newfound imprint.

Tears

When time is blurred together with thought, and hope is nothing more than a dream, a soul is lost; its shadow fades into the darkness. When angelic light surmounts all desolation, why is it that thoughts are draped with black silk and clouds loom just low enough to suffocate? Brightly sinister, joyfully ominous, brilliantly obscure, confusion chokes the omniscient, misdirection leads the wise. Eyes close, lips tremulously spell all that is good, if only to diminish the despondency of such evil or escape into superficial bliss reserved for perfection. Ears receive only what is spoken, hearts receive only silence between words. Whispers transform to screams as those who breathe sink to their knees. Faces to the ground, realization cries that words are not salvation. The ice of fire engulfs the foundation of lost souls. The tears of joy from those above rain upon the darkness down below. Stability thrusts upside-down and nothing looks the way it sounds. If only the speck of light afar would cease its attenuation and instead comfort the cold of heart and ignorant of mind. Depression overwhelms and penetrates, even though it was present from the beginning. Tears would make one happy to know of sheer existence, but now all they do is keep reminding of the pain. Smothering turns to stabbing turns to burning turns to drowning turns to everlasting prolonging never-ceasing permanent constant death.

Death Does Prevail

Surrounded by life
Death still prevails.
Center of all fear
All motivation for survival.
Like a black hole
In a midst of dancing
and bliss and color.
But sometimes the frustration,
disappointment and pain of life
Makes the inevitable seem so sweet.
Like an escape.
But like it or not
When death prevails
It's eternal.
Life lasts for an instant
So the most we can do
Is make it count for some of what it's worth.
And when death does prevail
We can take it as we find it.
Don't run from it, because it will only chase after you.
And prevailing death is no slow runner.

Expectations

stop searching for perfection.
we both know you can't handle it.
and yet it's your obsession.
there are things you need to omit
from your already pathetic life.
but you can't cut them out with that knife
you hold to your throat.
I'm here to help you,
not to encourage your stupid ideas
like your other so-called friends.
I'm here to listen to you,
not to shove the truth in your face.
but I will tell you what's right and wrong.
stop searching for perfection.
are you serious? look at yourself.
your thoughts hit your mind like an infection.
you have a blade to your throat
because you futilely attempted the impossible.
Let me tell you: If everybody lived up
to everybody's expectations,
everybody would feel the strong obligation
to shoot everybody in the head.
stop searching for perfection.
stop the obsession.
stop the infection.
Live the life I know you can.
Map your own journey, make your own plans.
Be the person I know you are.
Please take my advice. I know you'll go far.

as you perceive it

Without his usual confidence and her smile of approval, he found it difficult to tell her what really needed to be said. He walked towards her, his feet slipping from underneath him. He sank to the floor, but his ambition remained solid. He let out a sigh before glancing up at her disappointed, disgraceful, caring face. She stooped to his side, and she was immediately struck with the overpowering stench of alcohol.

"I need to... I need... to tell you something..."

"Shhh," she abruptly but gently halted his slurring. It's not that she didn't care. She knew they needed to get this out in the open. But not now. She embraced him and together they rose to their feet.

"I'm sorry," he said in an almost unnaturally raspy voice. His bloodshot eyes searched her expression for a glimmer of hope. Then he cut off their eye contact with a blink and a shake of his head.

"I know." Her voice revealed a hint of an "it's going to be okay" kind of tone. Her face, however, remained stone.

He clutched his stomach and drunkenly bobbed his head back up to look at her once more. Even though he was intoxicated and disoriented, the two made a mental connection for a brief moment. A sense of understanding brushed his conscience. There was more he wanted to tell her, but if he opened his mouth he felt he would vomit.

She was more aware of his discomfort than he had realized. She took his sweaty hand in hers and repeated, "I know."

Depths

When the stars flicker
Into an infinite darkness,
So will my soul.
It's inevitable,
And my heart knows it.
All the girlish charm
Fades away.
The lies I tell myself
Are dwindling down
To the hard rock-bottom
Of the ocean that is my mind.
They transform into the truths
That hadn't penetrated my conscience
Until now.
It hurts my being
As reality surfaces
To the top
And crushes me to my knees
On the bottom.
My soul
My heart
My mind
My conscience
My being
Are now hand in hand.
They join my spirit,
And the six essences
Of the work of art
That is me
Are together at last.
Although they have traveled far,
They have enough energy
To dive as a whole
Into the depths
Of the part of me
That needs to realize
It's going to be okay.

[Moving On]

You have what you want
But I got what you need.
You've got the water
But I have the seed.
We look at each other.
Between us, a distance.
We're being pulled further
You show no resistance.
I give you my love.
You give me disgrace.
The truth that I shoved
Into your blank face
Was ignored and forgotten.
My pride that you stole
Triggered that shot
Into my heart & my soul.
But I gave you forgiveness
And each time I did
I thought I deserved this.
You were so stupid.
This ended so badly.
But I chose not to regret.
This ended so sadly.
But don't forgive or forget.
Just move on . . .

Some Advice

Some people know what they're doing.

They've got it all planned out.

But others can end up screwing

With their lives, and I doubt

They will ever change.

Helpless, Foolish people

can't help but make bad memories.

Brainwashed to their own satisfaction

They can't admit

They don't

have

a clue.

Lying, cheating, surfing a crowd

cruising through life

Eating that bowl of cherries

that idiots claim life is made of.

Nothing's wrong with being

SPoNTaNeouS

but having a sense that we call common

could really come to use...

more than one may think...

if one thinks.

I think not.

Untitled.

Awhh! This brings back memories. This is actually the first real piece of "fine literature" I wrote. I think I was around thirteen years old then. I know it's corny. But most of my other stuff is, too! :]

There comes a time
For joy and laughter.
There comes a time
For tears and disaster.
These times will have
To come and pass
But there's always an essence
That will linger and last.
You fight the bad
And cherish the good,
But you never can feel
Like you think you should.
You think evil should leave
And delight should stay longer,
But what doesn't kill you
Makes you stronger.
Bereft of courage,
You run and hide,
And all your mistakes
Are pulled in by the tide.
But it's really you
Being pulled from the shore.
This is it . . .
A futile war.
You try to swim
But don't know how.
All of your knowledge
Deserts you now.
You fight for your life
And the memories it holds.
You drop your eyes
And embrace the cold.
You bring your glance up,
And as you do,
You notices life's Hope
Beckon to you.
You quickly dig deep
And search within,
Past your flesh
To your deeper skin.
You pull yourself back
Towards the ebb and the flow,
Through the waves of the things
You didn't let yourself know.
Your skin is soaked
With things from your past.
Your heart sorts through it
And finds all of them should last.
You learn from mistakes
And the things you regret.
And you then find yourself
Not trying to forget.
It's a whole new you,
And it feels so good
To have everything feel
The way it should.

Here and Now

My intricate feelings are lost
in this mess of incredible misunderstandings
between you and yourself and your heart.
Don't look at me with those accusing eyes
when you don't even know who is behind them.
Don't listen to the useless words of those
who don't give a damn about you.
Don't listen to me either . . .
My intricate feelings are lost
and I don't know where I can feel them again.
I am just as lost as they are.
Don't look at me as I fall into this
and lose all my mind and nerves.
Don't give up on your endless futile attempts
to find whats both right and easy.
Don't give up on me either . . .
My intricate feelings are lost
Somewhere between here and now
and I can't bear to look at then and there.
Don't look at me like you understand
and you would do anything to help.
Don't walk away from this mess of problems
that you threw together by yourself.
Don't walk away from me either . . . .